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To understand fat loss is to understand the mind – specifically YOUR mind. Your mind can be either enemy or ally when it comes to accomplishing anything in life – health and fat loss goals included. This is something of a culmination of my previous post on 20 Thoughts on Mindset, Aging and Happiness. Let’s call this installment the “action steps” phase. Here are 8 steps/strategies to build a mindset for fat loss and healthy living.
1. Self-acceptance first:
Results are a matter of self-discipline. Self-discipline burns in the flame of self-awareness – the bedrock of both being self-acceptance. Self-acceptance (and similarly self-forgiveness) is prerequisite for lasting change. It is more than ok (advisable, even) to be dissatisfied with your SITUATION, however do the necessary work to detach your situation from who you are as a person. You are NOT your scale weight, health status or fitness level. Your cup is already full – you are simply improving your health and your body.
2. Employ Goal-setting Mastery:
Typical goal-setting is mostly ineffective – mostly because it’s conceived of in a moment of utopia, assuming a clear path and a predictable future. We use “S.M.A.R.T.” goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-oriented) but for all its perceived dimensions and snazzy acronym, these too fall short in staying power. Here are 3 pillars of goal-setting (for more detail, check out my article on the topic).
- Finding your why (aligning values)
- If fitness and living a healthy lifestyle isn’t part of your values system it will be far more challenging to attain long term success. Goal attainment then, becomes more about aligning actions with values than it does about seeking constant “motivation”. Simon Sinek popularized the concept of finding your “why” in his popular book “Start with Why” and his TED talks that preach similar messages. While goals tend to focus on the “what”, the “why” is far more important as it gives the “what” meaning.
Think about your most profound desires. Why is your health important to you – think deeply, think long-term and think from the heart and be able to clearly articulate and repeat this. Your “why” should go way beyond the “I want to look better” or even “I want to feel better”.
- If fitness and living a healthy lifestyle isn’t part of your values system it will be far more challenging to attain long term success. Goal attainment then, becomes more about aligning actions with values than it does about seeking constant “motivation”. Simon Sinek popularized the concept of finding your “why” in his popular book “Start with Why” and his TED talks that preach similar messages. While goals tend to focus on the “what”, the “why” is far more important as it gives the “what” meaning.
- Process vs Outcome goals
- Outcome goals are great to have, but the real secret sauce is in the process goals – the habit-based goals or the “goals behind the goals” which form the building blocks of your actions that will beget your fat loss goals. Many productivity gurus espouse the concept of creating systems over setting goals.
- Outcome goals are great to have, but the real secret sauce is in the process goals – the habit-based goals or the “goals behind the goals” which form the building blocks of your actions that will beget your fat loss goals. Many productivity gurus espouse the concept of creating systems over setting goals.
- Lense of Sacrifice
- Author Mark Manson proposes that instead of asking “what are my goals”? ask instead “what pain am I willing to go through?”. Goals represent warm and fuzzy feelings… our paths are paved with gold and lined with daisies and we tend to be wilfully ignorant of any impedance to our objectives. Hence, according to Manson it’s far more effective to ask yourself what you are willing to sacrifice to reach your goal. What compromises and discomforts are you going to endure over the long haul? Looking at your goals through the lens of sacrifice can help paint a realistic perspective on what it will take to achieve them.
3. Build Self-Awareness
One of the most salient reasons why we get caught in perpetual cycles of hit and miss attempts at personal betterment is that we don’t know what we don’t know. Looking inward is a vital step towards building habits that will yield sustainable success. One of the most popular and effective methods for creating self-awareness is practicing mindfulness and/or meditation (sometimes used interchangeably). Mindfulness is essentially paying close attention to feelings, thoughts and other stimuli while meditating. Performing a daily (or perhaps every other day) “self-reflection” – either written or just in your own private few minutes (disconnected from technology). Have an honest dialogue with yourself on how your day went. What went well? What could have gone better? What precipitated an undesired eating episode?
Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated. Simply sit on the floor, in a chair or lay on the floor. Just practice being aware of different parts of your body. Feel your feet in contact with the floor, feel your fingertips as they rest on your thighs. Click here to learn about some of the basics of meditation.
4. Engage The Right Kind of Motivation
Making healthy living something you do for its own sake – how it makes you feel. This is the holy grail of change – when we can get into a “flow” state while exercising or cooking/eating. It’s perfectly ok to have extrinsically motivated goals, but eventually there has to be an intrinsic underpinning.
At the heart of intrinsic motivation is autonomy.. The key to autonomy is finding tasks that are challenging enough to keep you intrigued and progressing but not so challenging that you get frustrated and fall off track.
When it comes to motivation in general, momentum is more important. Just start and keep going. Think about aligning actions with values.
5. Create an Environment for Success
It’s important to understand that our minds/hearts AND environments have to be aligned for our goal pursuits to work. Setting your environment up for success is CRUCIAL to realizing your potential. When setting up your life for success, look at 4 different dimensions;
- Home: Keep fresh produce eye level, healthy snacks front and center, clear containers and staple appliances where you can see them. Keep any foods counter to your goals wayyyy back in your cupboards. Also keep exercise wear/shoes in full sight/in a gym bag by your door/in your car.
- Workplace: If there’s a kitchen, pack a lunch with leftovers. Keep a water bottle at your desk and stay clear of the donut/candy stash that pervades some offices. Set your situation up so that you can walk frequently (when possible) and have a few healthy snacks on hand.
- Car: Keep a couple of portable, non-perishable higher protein snacks around (mini cans of tuna, nuts, seeds, beef/salmon jerky, roasted chickpeas). Also have napkins, wet wipes and plastic cutlery.
- Travel: Whether travelling for work or vacation, try and keep certain healthy habits locked into place. Hit grocery stores and stock up on healthy fare. Try and get an accomodation with a kitchen or at least a fridge. Bring exercise tubing and try and seek out a gym facility and walk a lot.
6. Excuse-proof your Lifestyle
Here’s a bit of a “tough love” lesson. I provide this short list as someone who’s used ALL of these excuses at one point or another.
- I’ll start tomorrow: This is the most insidious trap of them all. As humans we are wired to put off the challenging in favor of doing what is more comfortable. The cumulative effect of “I’ll start tomorrow” almost always results in remaining stuck.
- YOLO fallacy: Seize the donut! Some of us struggle immensely with FOMO (fear of missing out). Living this way will lock you into place. Pick your spots, indulge moderately and keep your eyes on the long term benefits when choosing your moments of indulgence.
- Dichotomous Thinking loophole: 20 minutes of a workout is better than 0 minutes. Also, you blew it for a meal or 2 doesn’t mean the whole week is a write-off. Letting go of black and white thinking will help build clarity and possibility.
- The clear and predictable path trap: You will be excited for a new health venture. You will see a road lined with daisies and few obstacles. That’s. Not. life. Life is messy, unpredictable and will do whatever it can to pull you off track. Know in advance this won’t be a smooth ride. But it WILL , however be worth it.
- Today is a special day: With all the birthdays, Holidays, retirements, Christenings and other celebrations it becomes very easy to overindulge on a very frequent basis. Again pick your spots, learn to say “no thanks” and learn to enjoy the company/event/celebration for aspects for reasons unrelated to food.
7. Have a Relapse Plan
As mentioned above, life’s full of curveballs, struggles, trials and other imperfections. Your number 1 predictor of long term success is managing the dips – busting through the times where you are pulled off track, de-motivated and otherwise pressed for time. A sound relapse plan is a 3-step process;
- Self-forgiveness: This is a first crucial step. Avoid the trap of beating yourself up over a slip-up. The best advice I’ve heard in this regard is how would you advise a friend? Oftentimes we are gentle when talking to a good friend who messed up. Treat yourself with the same grace.
- Self-reflection: You stumled and we’ve established that you are going to forgive yourself. Now let’s reflect; why did it happen? What precipitated the lapse? How can you avert this situation the next time. Know that perpetual lapses will prevent true progress and growth so doing this work in this regard is important.
- Immediate return: Plan for an immediate return. Keep small lapses small lapses and avoid the “crew it” mentality by mailing it in for the rest of the day/week/month… it’s amazing how a day can turn into a week so easily.
Final Thoughts
Change begins in the mind and dwells there perpetually. Sustaining healthy habits requires a constant re-wiring/refining process that allows for habits to take hold. You are fully capable of editing your story and of making incredible changes.
